How to Disagree Professionally in an Email: 3 Tips for the Small Business Owner

Business is a contact sport; people are bound to butt heads from time to time. And that isn’t always a bad thing. Sometimes, when professionals respectfully disagree with each other, they actually end up collaborating to find a solution that’s even better than either person’s original valid point.

But just because two small business owners are disagreeing doesn’t mean that they need to be disagreeable. Their interactions need to be polite and respectful to avoid damaging relationships beyond repair. Often, that’s easier said than done.

Sometimes, it’s even harder for people to discuss their completely different opinions by email (or through another virtual channel). When two people argue from behind their screens, it’s even more tempting for a professional to deviate from rational arguments into personal attacks just to prove their own point.

Such disagreements never seem to end well. Fortunately, with a few phrases and sentiments that show respect and professionalism, it’s possible for anyone to politely disagree and work towards a mutual solution or middle ground, even when they’re communicating via email. Here are three tips to professionally express disagreement through email.

1. Disagree (respectfully) with ideas, not people

Having the same opinion as another person is actually pretty uncommon in the business world. For one reason or another, a business owner might find themselves needing to convince someone else that their opinion or idea is incorrect.

But human beings are, generally speaking, pretty sensitive. If another person hears, “You’re wrong,” in an argument, they’re likely to take it as a personal attack and go on the defensive. And the moment the argument gets personal, both parties lose, even in a professional setting.

When a business owner encounters someone with a different perspective (and it’s an opinion that they can’t just agree to disagree with), it’s wise to show the other party that they’re disagreeing with the person’s idea, and not with the person directly.

Compare these statements:

“I’m right, and you’re wrong.”

“I believe that this won’t work for reasons X, Y, and Z.”

Which statement sounds better? The top option sounds like something out of a social media comments section. The second sounds like a direct disagreement, but it’s still professional, and it keeps the tone neutral. If the two communicators follow that route, they can be more solution-focused in their future interactions.

2. Politely disagree, but be direct

Too often, timid business owners back away from arguments they should work through simply because they want to avoid a disagreement. But disagreements aren’t inherently bad; they’re a natural part of running a business. They can even be healthy, leading both parties to work to find common ground in a way that fosters respect and trust.

It’s generally better to address disagreements directly, even in an email. Online, it’s not quite possible to listen actively, but it’s still important for both parties to ensure they understand each other (too many disagreements stem from misunderstandings caused by lacking communication skills). When business owners stay calm but direct in their written emails, they’re more likely to understand the other person’s perspective. And once they understand the other’s perspective, they can turn the conversation towards a solution without beating around the proverbial bush.

Failing to address disagreements directly can lead to resentment and further misunderstandings in the long run.

3. Build trust as a bridge to the future

When a small business owner finds themselves in a disagreement with someone else, it’s easy to get caught up in strong opinions and harsh words (especially by email). But business owners will want to keep this fact top of mind: the person they’re interacting with has the potential to be a long-term client or partner. The last thing they probably want is for their email to damage a business relationship that would have had long-term benefits.

It sounds simple, but many business owners find it helpful to express that they’re hopeful that, despite the current disagreement, they can continue doing business together. They can explain (honestly and politely) that they’re just trying to do what’s best for their business. Odds are, the other person will understand that and respect it, even if they still disagree.

It’s also wise to keep an argument as short as possible; it never shows good judgment to draw tension out. Sometimes, that means coming up with proposed changes and reaching a collaborative solution. Other times, it may be best to acknowledge that the argument won’t lead to any alternative solutions. If that’s the case, it’s better to move on than keep fighting.

Then comes the business owner’s next task: being a gracious winner.